Graduate School Admission Results

Rejected from PhD (separate GradCafe submission,) accepted to unfunded masters. For all intents and purposes, a big R, but thought I should post this too, just in case. :|

Accepted the offer! (Email sent from POI).

Accepted to unfunded masters = rejected. :(

I received an email from USC stating that they have never seen an application like mine. Like totally, I understand most people fill out those tacky online portal applications (EW!) but I went the extra mile and printer mine out on pink glitter paper and mailed it to the AdComm. I included a link to my OF which is just videos of me coding omg don't be dirty. I am ready to bring the FUN to the CS party! Being a normy nerd is sooo 2022.

I was chillin as I usually do browsing in my bed in Jammies with a bottle of Patron and then I see this email shown up in my Spam folder. It was from Berkeley EECS and they sent me a full acceptance to the EECS program. I dinnit even apply or anything, apparently they just hit up my Google scholar and GitHub and decide to accept me because of all the papers I written. I was like bro chill that's kind of creepy I only applied to Stanford Stanford ride or die betches but Berkeley was like we wantchu anyways and they gave me a coupon for a local hostel which is the only affordable place for student to rent as part of my acceptance package. That is a much better deal then the expensive AF Palo Alto 50s era apartments Stanford gives students so I decided to go to Berkeley even though I didn't apply.

MQE program early decision. No financial aid

email to check portal. no interview

I received a call from the admissions committee today. They informed me that I was the worst applicant who had ever applied to Stanford CS in the history of the program. They were planning on rejecting me but the ghost of Leland Stanford appeared in Gates and began following professors around, telling them that if they don't accept me, all of their future grants will be denied with little to no feedback. The professors called an emergency meeting and decided that given the circumstances it would be best to give me an offer. I am however debating whether to accept this offer or instead a promising one from Grand Canyon University.

so irl im a furry (corgi and shiba mix, rly cute i know) and harry the husky (IF YOU DON'T KNOW HIM, THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T GET IN!!!) came to me in a wet dream to tell me that him and dubs rly thought i was a good fit. he howled at my mom and my uncle but my witch brother turned him into jelly and convinced to play just dance instead. he was so impressed that he decided that we would be mate (WARNING: mpreg). ya and then he parachuted out of the window (this was actually rly weird bc i live on the first floor) and howled another time (like he was pretending to be jacob from twilight but if edward was trying to eat his liver at the same time). anyways he then sucked on my toes as i put my size 13 mens nikes out of the window and then hopped away like a bunny

6969696969 (THAT'S WRITE i gamed my gre score to have 69s ur mom) ummmm so i like woke up this morning, and this snAIL is like knoking on my windoe with its little eye thiing and im like okie what OWO ;-; its rly early but i then opened the snails shell and it was a letter from Jack leland stanford, the love child of jane and leland (ya they had a 3rd, polyamory yikes). so i am like "ok jack, go off" and jack was like "ok rubberduckysquishy, we noticed htat u had a 169 on ur gre and 69 is my favorite position so we thought that u would be so good for the comooter science phd, ok bai" i was like "omg this is sooooOOOOOO crazy. i can't believe i got into standford !!!!11 i then proceeded to call up jill, jane's twin sister who had an affair with jack (i know its aunt and nephew) and she told me she was the one who got me in." ANNIE WEIGHS ya im in and u l053rs aren't

15 years of teaching experience, background in voice (undergrad & masters in vocal performance), limited to contact with the field, some observation hours.