09 Mar 2023

Stanford University

Mechanical Engineering, Masters (F23)

Accepted via Phone on 09 Mar 2023

Note

So there I was, having a casual chat with my mom about my college options, when suddenly my phone rings. I see an unknown number from the US and assume it's just another scammer trying to get me to buy some dodgy product. But my mom keeps insisting that I attend MIT, which is really starting to piss me off. So, in a fit of rage, I hang up on her and answer the "scam call". "Good afternoon, I am calling on behalf of the Admission Committee at Stanford Mechanical Engineering to notify you that you have been enthusiastically recommended admission." What the hell?! I never even applied to Stanford! I guess those admission officers must have stumbled upon my Google Scholar page and been blown away by my impressive h-index and my two ancient nature papers from primary school, which I wrote while trynna figure out how legos work. But there was no way I was going to Stanford. I mean, have you seen that tree mascot? It's like they picked it up from a cartoon show. No, I much prefer Sammy the slug at UC Santa Cruz. Plus, California is way too hot for me. So, I told the lady on the phone, "Sorry, but hell nah ma'am. I'll pass on Stanford. I prefer my Sammy the Slug and the cool, coastal weather of Santa Cruz." Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I hung up the phone and decided to go out clubbing to celebrate my decision. But as luck would have it, I forgot my ID at home. God damn it! It's a good thing I have that Stanford acceptance to fall back on, right? Just kidding, I'd rather get kicked out of a club than attend that silly school.

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